Krystal's Gems The World According to… By Columnist Krystal Starkey
The World According to…
I stan (stalker fan) Post Malone. He is, without doubt, my favourite artist of all time, ever. I can’t quite explain what it is, perhaps his little moustache that looks like two dogs kissing, or maybe it’s his face tattoo that says Always Tired, which prompts the important question: Aren’t we all?
As well as these magnetic features, his music is the main event. He comfortably pulls rap and hiphop into the mainstream with his pop-like formulas and ties it all up with his very sexy, gravelly voice… So when his European tour went on sale, I was ready to snatch those standing tickets the-hell-up.
If I haven’t mentioned before, the guys I work with are awesome: The whole office sat in anticipation, clicking the refresh button at 9am on the ticket sale site. After what felt like an eternity of trying to get in the queue to buy tickets, I quickly realised that options were disappearing. Between five of us, we got through for one seated ticket. Within 10 minutes, tickets started popping up on resale sites for over £200.
Here’s a new one: Platinum Tickets, which, available from the original seller, allow prices to rise with supply and demand, but give you nothing more than a standard seat. According to one lovely ticket sale website: ‘The goal is to give the most passionate fans fair and safe access to the most in-demand tickets’.
I would say that the word passionate should be replaced with loaded. Because there’s a difference between having passion and having a spare £200 knocking about, to spend on a two or three hour gig.
Rubbish-ticket-website also stated that these prices reflect the tickets ‘true value’ I would just like to put the ‘true value’ into perspective, here are some things you can get with £200+: a 40” LCD TV, A weekend away in Paris, 200 mayo chickens, food for a small family for a month.
Anyway, I digress – we all hate dirty ticket resale sites that make killer profits and the Platinum Tickets are a similar concept – it just allows the original beneficiaries to get in on the game, too.
These thoughts ran through my mind as I mulled over the fact that I wasn’t going to get standing, face value tickets for my number one boy.
BINGO. Paris tickets didn’t sell out. Yep, god bless the French who aren’t quiet as obsessed with Post Malone as us Brits. For the same price as a Platinum Ticket – I could get face value tickets plus flights for the same price.
I did what any sane and slightly obsessed fan would do, I whacked out my bank card, and bought two tickets for my boyfriend and I.
Au revoir Platinum Ticket sellers and bonjour Post Malone in Paris, I couldn’t have done it without the cruel, cruel mistress that is supply and demand.
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BONFIRE NIGHT – Toffee apples, scarves, big jackets, wooly hats, pyrotechnics, red leaves and pumpkin spiced lattes. I’m a fiend for autumn cliches and I’m not in the slightest bit sorry.
WARM DAYS – We enjoyed a great summer and now it’s time for colder climes. Global warming is clearly REAL, people have been wearing SHORTS in October, make of it what you will. I’ve bought my winter jacket, and these warm days are confusing my outfit plans.
OVERSIGHT – I forgot my editor actually reads this column, who just learnt that I hijacked the YLL staff for gig-going purposes while she was working on a big deadline from home. Sorry Boss! xxxx