Krystal's Gems The World According to… By Columnist Krystal Starkey
The World According to…
Hey guys, it’s ya girl K, feeling super refreshed after a week off in sunny Mallorca. I’ve mostly been lounging by the pool, staring out to sea and eating all my favourite beige foods on repeat. Oh, and spending an unhealthy amount of time on social media. Having discovered the joys of daytime internet browsing I would like to give you one very important piece of advice: Regardless of where you live, join your local community Facebook page. Having recently become what some might describe an expert, I’ve composed a comprehensive list of power moves you can use to make it all the way to the top. People will shiver when they see your name pop up.
Posting open warnings to fellow community members is a power move. If you’ve got time, find a quirky poster off of the internet that you definitely don’t have the copyright for and post it with a polite reminder. Example: To the person that thinks it’s ok to let their dog mess and not pick it up outside my parents house on A Certain Road. Poster: Polite notice, your dog did his duty… now do yours.
Looking for a good restaurant nearby? Don’t use Tripadvisor, ask your Facebook community and watch them fall over themselves to help you. Does anyone know what time Tesco is open until today? I can guarantee you that unless a member actually works there, someone had to google the answer to that questions themselves before they told you. Power is nigh. You’re in charge.
*Advice to be taken with a pinch of salt. The author accepts no responsibility for consequences as a result of following this advice.
** Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.